I always shared positive things about my marriage in this blog. My marriage became quite awesome since we both stopped to drink. But on the other hand, some things will never change. It turned out that H. was irresponsible with our money. Again. Besides, he lied about it. When I figured it out, I felt physical pain in my heart. I wasn’t sure what to do. He did admit (many times) that he had problems with honesty and financial accountability but I thought we left this issue behind. I was wrong and that is not his fault. He met with a friend yesterday who told him that lying is part of his disease. I know that and I am sure that this meeting was useful. However, lying was always an issue to him even before he started drinking. Anyways, when he got back, he said that he would work on this harder. He suggested couples’ counseling too. I am a fan of counseling but his suggestion made me think.
Why do people talk, feel, and think on your behalf? What if I do not want to work on this? What if I had enough and I want to be independent again? Of course these are just my quick reactions to what happened but what if??? We shouldn’t make assumptions. Ever.
The thing is that when someone betrays me, I do not stick. Obviously my husband is not just an acquaintance I could leave behind without causing harm. But should I take the lies just because it is a marriage? Is that selfish to think about my own future and recovery??