I am very lucky for not having triggers as of now… I know there are situations in which I will want to drink. For example, traveling would be too early. I always drank during vacations. Hotel rooms are triggers. In rehab, I thought that watching a movie in the evening will be a huge challenge as well. Drinking and movies were correlated. To my biggest surprise, it was not a big deal at all.
Tonight I started chatting with my friend from Australia. She is an online friend but we are very close. I can seriously call her my soul-sister. We haven’t spoken for a long time…not since I went to rehab. And BANG, chatting with her triggered me. Of course I was always drinking during our past conversations. They were deep, mostly based on spirituality.
What a weird trigger! I do miss being “uplifted” by wine that gave me deeper thoughts. No, it did not. It was just a whacked illusion. A very powerful one though. Despite of the fact that this trigger sounds absolutely ridiculous, I had to take a Xanax. I can take one occasionally. I know it is a beast. Thank God, I do not abuse it. Yet. Any suggestion regarding a substitute for darn anti-anxiety pills would be greatly appreciated (for some reason, meditation does not work in this case).