A little evening trigger

I am very lucky for not having triggers as of now… I know there are situations in which I will want to drink. For example, traveling would be too early. I always drank during vacations. Hotel rooms are triggers. In rehab, I thought that watching a movie in the evening will be a huge challenge as well. Drinking and movies were correlated. To my biggest surprise, it was not a big deal at all.

Tonight I started chatting with my friend from Australia. She is an online friend but we are very close. I can seriously call her my soul-sister. We haven’t spoken for a long time…not since I went to rehab. And BANG, chatting with her triggered me. Of course I was always drinking during our past conversations. They were deep, mostly based on spirituality.

What a weird trigger! I do miss being “uplifted” by wine that gave me deeper thoughts. No, it did not. It was just a whacked illusion. A very powerful one though. Despite of the fact that this trigger sounds absolutely ridiculous, I had to take a Xanax. I can take one occasionally. I know it is a beast. Thank God, I do not abuse it. Yet. Any suggestion regarding a substitute for darn anti-anxiety pills would be greatly appreciated (for some reason, meditation does not work in this case).


11 thoughts on “A little evening trigger

  1. Meditation doesn’t yield good results because you haven’t learned to stop the hamster wheel in your mind yet, and Xanax does – because it is a mood and mind-altering drug – stop the hamster wheel. The key is to learn how to do this naturally, without the assistance of drugs. This is an acquired skill and interestingly, I just finished a post last evening that will post Friday morning (7 am EST USA) that specifically explains the beginning components of the process. Check it out.

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  2. Hey, I agree with Jim, I found an online course in mindfulness really helpful. Guided meditations are also useful, Kabat Zinn in particular. I struggled with the whole “ommmmm” thing but found something that suited my cynical nature🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I don’t know much about addictions, maybe you could try playing or feeding a animal, preferably a dog or cat. Or visit an animal shelter. Playing with an animal tends to calm down a person.

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  4. I used to call people, getting out of myself has always been the prescription, my sponsor and others in recovery suggest. find a meeting. I use meditation to be with what is there rather than escape from it

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  5. Wow, way to be vigilant! That is a strange one. You never truly know do you? I’m so glad you identified it and sort of, wrote your way out of it. I do that all the time. It really helps. I always hear about “people places and things”. I can control the people I spend time with, the places I go, and the things I do. My triggers usually fall in one of those categories.

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  6. I have weird triggers like that too, and a friend who lives thousands of miles away and our “wine dates” were phone calls. I’ve only talked to her once (very briefly) on the phone since I quit.
    I have been searching out different non alcoholic drinks that I really enjoy drinking and use as a special treat. They have been working in those situations so far and if not then I go for a run. I like the other people suggestions of meditation – I should try that too!

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  7. I have had to turn my life around in so many ways to avoid triggers. But now, four months later, I am in love with my new life. I swapped drunken nights and movies for sobriety and painting! I listen to a lot of Audible self help too. Benzos, like Xanax, work on the same receptors as alcohol. I was addicted to them and it took me a long time to wean off them. Try listening to Eckhart Tolle on YouTube or Byron Katie, both have greatly helped me. Eventually the triggers fade.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I know that about Xanax…not good, not good. My psychiatrist prescribed it to me for my Bipolar II disorder. hank God I don’t even take the suggested amount. I love Eckhart Tolle but I only read his first books, thanks 🙂

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