Recently I wrote a post regarding positive changes in my life. I forgot to disclose something that others told me about my eyes. When I started going back to AA meetings after rehab, many people I knew came to me and gave me big hugs. Then some of them looked into my eyes and said: “Your eyes are clear.”. So I am sober. Is it that noticeable? Of course I did not pay attention to my eyes. I figured out that they must have been foggy while I was drinking. It did not matter that I never consumed alcohol during the day, the AA members had enough experience to acknowledge the fogginess and knew that I was not clean. Since I received those comments that were based on observations, I often check my eyes in the mirror. Yep, they are still clear. Nevertheless, I just could not understand how they were able to notice the difference right away. They did not know that I spent 21 days in rehab and indeed sobered up.
Soon I went back to the hospital to attend Alumni meetings. I visited with people who were in my group. As they greeted me, I suddenly understood what the “clear eyes” phenomenon meant. Their eyes changed since we left the program. They reflected new hopes, dreams, and goals. Looking at their faces made me feel very happy. I spoke to a friend from AA who told me that she felt exactly how I do when she first saw the “sober me”.
Now every time I recall those beautiful eyes, my own eyes light up as well. We are ONE in a way that I will never be able to correctly explain. I do not think I need to. The deep feeling in my soul is enough.