“WITH SOME INDIVIDUALS, THE SURRENDER EXPERIENCE IS THE START OF GENUINE GROWTH AND MATURATION.”
There is a huge difference between the two words. Submission is waving the white flag and saying: I give up myself because I have to. Surrender means that I give up myself because I want to. Addicted people often take the first step toward sobriety for the sake of others. For the children, for the spouse, for the job…I believe it is a good start but real success happens when the person realizes that he or she needs to completely surrender.
H. and my AA sponsor placed pressure on me to go to rehab. I submitted myself. During the program I learned how to surrender. The pressure disappeared; I gave in with all of my heart. It was/is a wonderful feeling.
I do have a Higher Power. To me, it is a He. I don’t let Him to take away my fears, worries, and anger all the time because my pride stands in my way and laughs at me. I need to achieve inner peace to surrender. When I do, a certain humbleness covers my entire being. “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.” Trusting Him is still difficult sometimes but now I know that surrender does not mean that I give up my free will. I have my free will to make decisions and change my life. Not focusing on what I cannot control allows me to experience freedom I never had before.
I imagine myself as a little child with a loving caretaker. Does a 2-year-old futurize? Nope. They just feel he caretaker’s love and protection. That’s it. They can fly. They can get scared but they are not chained to fear. What else I could wish for?