Let’s Enjoy Life!

For many years I believed that my bad childhood experiences caused my addiction. Nah. My experiences did form my personality including my imagination, my thought processes, and my attachment style. They had nothing to do with drinking and other bad habits. I was born with an addicted mind. Addiction does not refer to substance abuse only. My little harmless obsessions in daily life were part of. I didn’t know it.

I still remember my first drink. I was 14 when we went on a 2 day field trip with my class. We spent the night in a tiny hostel. Someone pulled out a small bottle of vodka when the teachers were not present. We mixed it with orange juice. I had 2 sips and all of a sudden I felt a buzz. So I kept looking for that buzz. Of course smoking cigarettes, smoking a little pot, and drinking alcohol seemed to be a cool thing. However, it stopped being cool when I started drinking by myself. But…but…it is not bad or sad, right? It all looked absolutely normal through my pink sunglasses. It was just my way to stretch my mind and relax. That’s what I thought. I did not realize that my shiny road slowly turned into a slide of mud. I drank at family events (excuse me, everybody else did too). I loved every occasion that involved alcohol. I even drank on dates when I felt bored or I had to pretend that I was in love. I have no clue why I did it. I was not concerned at all and I did not see the warning signs.


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